May 13, 2022

When The Doubt Creeps In.

bedroom with Doubt Creeps InTonight, I am attending an event thrown by Kiehls to celebrate their latest product launch (the Midnight Recovery Cloud Cream). As part of the evening, they invited us for an overnight stay at the Plaza! I’ve lived in New York my entire life, but have never stayed there so I am very excited.

I’ve been in this industry for a long time and am very  fortunate to get invited to some really great things. However, lately, particulary since covid, I’ve declined way more than I’ve attended. There are many reasons for this. For one, logistics with parenting and childcare can be challenging, sometimes more trouble than it’s worth. Then there are days where I simply just want to be home with my family. Not always (lol), but a lot.

But aside from family, occasionally, doubt can inevitably creep in. While I’ve gotten pretty good at not giving an f about many things-and that has come with age- I’m only human.

When The Doubt Creeps In.

Since the pandemic, I feel like that part of me got a little lost? It’s hard to explain.

Then, within the industry, there’s occasionally the age thing. Once in a while, that voice of doubt can whisper things in your ear like “will everyone be half your age?!”  On one side, I really don’t care, but once in a while, there’s that voice.

I will say, the industry has changed a lot in that regard. When I first started, everyone seemed like they were 20, but over the course of the last ten years, there are so many creatives, influencers, whatever we want to call them, that are a wide range of different ages, something that is so refreshing to see.

But I digress.

All this to say, with age and experience, I’ve gotten really good at recognizing what, for lack of a better phrase, fills my cup. One of those things is not only socializing and human connection, but also challenging myself with situations that in my head, seem intimidating, but in reality, they’re not. At the end of the day, I always remind myself that chances are, most people feel the same exact way.

24 hours later….

I wrote the above as a ramble of my thoughts the day of the event. It’s now the next morning, I’m sitting at a little table at the Plaza, on my laptop, drinking my coffee and feeling so recharged, even with a itty bitty hangover. I almost declined this invitation for no good reason except some silly, self induced doubt.

At dinner last night, I sat at a table with three other wonderful women. Another creative and two others who work on the brand side. The food was incredible, we ate at JoJo by Jean Georges. We had such great conversation, exchanged stories, talked about motherhood, the industry changes since covid and I left feeling so happy.

Again, to think I almost said no.

Huge thanks to Kiehl’s for such a special evening and to myself for telling that little inner voice to shut it.



  • Aamie L

    This was such a wholehearted read to hear your through te before and after; to re affirm what I know that often doubt can be louder than the voice that says do it. Thank you 🤍

  • Ayesha

    What a great candid piece. It’s so easy to forget ourselves and the pandemic took so much lust for life away. Reminding us all about ourselves and to live a little. Thank you Helena

  • Helen Park

    Thank you for this refreshing honest piece. I find the state of mind you mentioned so relatable in many ways. I love how you also shared the aftermath of such thoughts. Thank you for sharing so candidly Helena!

  • Chantal

    This sentiment hit me hard. I havent really been able to pinpoint it but this is on point…”Since the pandemic, I feel like that part of me got a little lost? It’s hard to explain.”
    Great read.

  • Docdivatraveller

    I can so relate with you Helena! When I started blogging in 2013, I wasn’t a mom and was eager to jump at every opportunity thrown at me. This didn’t change much after my first born too. I was really free spirited. However the birth of my second child plus 2 years of pandemic had completely changed me. I find it so tedious to arrange for childcare that I would rather not go out. Also that age factor, I am a young mom of two but somehow the other unmarried fashion influencers condemn us mommy bloggers irrespective of their age.
    It feels satisfying to see that I am not in this mindset alone. Sometimes I really wonder whether this is I really wanted in life.

  • Susan Dunlop

    I love this realness and honesty. Thank you so much for sharing what every woman feels no matter our age. And the pics on IG were great.

  • GabrielLe

    So relatable! Happened to me just last night. It’s been so challenging moving on from the pandemic and living our lives as they were before

  • Ss

    Lovely article that definitely resonates with me. I love your content, style and life/family stories. I sometimes ask myself what would you wear when I am getting ready to go out. I have also “forgotten “ how to be out of the house and use various reasons as excuses. Love your sincerity and thank you for sharing.

  • Fashion and Frappes

    This is such a lovely post. I like how its gives a window into your different states of mind. Its so interesting that someone like you also has these doubts just like everyone. The only thing is your followers and readers grow with you so its always nice to see your style and life moving on and evolving, just like ours.

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