September 22, 2016

Six things I’ve learned in my 30’s

Things I've learned in my 30's

I’m a few years into my 30’s (and turning a year older on the 28th!) and interestingly enough, with each passing year, I become so much more comfortable with myself and who I’ve become. Sure, there are days where I miss the wild, carefree nights of being 23, but those are just small factors in the grand scheme of things. For those of  you who aren’t quite there and keep hearing “your 30’s are the best years of your life!” I fully agreement with that statement.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Invest In Your Skin:

I know I sound like a broken record when it comes to this, but it’s one of the first things that comes to my mind. Before working for myself, I worked at a large company that was predominately made up of women (and gay men) and in those 7 years that I was there, I tucked away so many tips that still resonate with me. For one, the 40-something year old woman I shared an office with for many years, was the quintessential NYC type: successful, always busy and juggling having a small child and being a working mom. With all that, no matter what, she always took time to take care of herself. I remember her saying to me “if I could give you one piece of advice, it’s to invest in your skin when you’re in your 30s’!” I didn’t really know what that meant (I was probably 25-27 at the time), but now, I totally get it!

For me, that means a few things:

Wearing sunblock is always #1, but you’ve heard that over and over again. Then there’s water and nutrition. As I mentioned in one of my monthly favorite things, I try to have a tablespoon of flaxeed oil every single day. There is 0 doubt that when I’m religious about this, I see an enormous difference in my complexion.  Aside from that, using good skincare product! That means always starting out with properly washing my face, acid exfoliation and then layering on the face oils and moisturizers. Those are the great things you can do at home, but if you want to take it to the next level, going to a reputable place and having them do things you’re unable to do at home. Whether it’s microdermabrasion, a chemical peel, or hey, even if botox is your thing.  I cannot stress the reputable part enough! It’s not to say that a place with a Groupon is not good, but do your research. This is not where you want to skimp!

The Power Of No/Only Saying Yes To Things That Bring You Happiness:

I’d like to think I’m a fairly easy-going person and while I consider that to be a good characteristic, in my younger days, I found myself involved in situations that I didn’t necessarily want to be in, afraid about disappointing people. Whether it was committing to plans I didn’t really want to be involved in or agreeing to a work project that I probably should have turned down. The point is, now I realize that if something doesn’t feel right, it’s perfectly okay to say no. Of course there are exceptions to everything, but just as an overall mindset.

Nurture Yourself:

If I don’t take the time to nurture myself, it will disable me from being the best version of myself. Especially as a new mom, having ME time has never been so important. I’m lucky enough to be married to an amazing man who understands that (and the same goes for him!) so we make sure there’s balance in our lives. Yes, it takes a little more work these days, but there’s always a way to make it happen.

For me, this means taking out the time to workout or go for a run (a newer hobby), to get a manicure or to have a night, drinking wine with girlfriends.

Attract Good In Your Life:

I’m a firm believer that like attracts like. Be kind to people, be genuniely happy for others, tip your cab driver a few extra dollars, buy somebody special a present for no reason…etc. You guys get the drift. This will make for a much richer life in so many ways. This might sound so cheesy, but the happier and more positive I am, the better my life is. This also means that I try to surround myself with positive people. Sure, everyone is entitled to their bad days, but any toxic relationships, I left along with my 20’s.

 Enjoy the Moment:

In a world that is completely glued to their phones, I cannot stress the importance of this. If I don’t put my phone away (even for a few minutes), several times a day, I start to feel incredibly overwhelmed. When Nate was a little over two months, I remember putting him down on his play mat and while he was laying there, playing with the little hanging animals, I was browsing Facebook/Snapchat/Instagram..etc.  Then it hit me like a ton of bricks! What the hell am I doing? In that moment, I knew that I needed to put my phone away and just enjoy that precious time. Of course, when your baby is occupied, it’s hard not to want to do something else, but life passes so quickly, the other things can wait. Savor the special moments and really take them in.

Of course there are instances where I want to capture that beautiful sunset or to watch my favorite snaps, BUT please be sure to also put your phone away and enjoy. I’m still working on this, but getting better each day.

Splurge on Experiences:

God knows I love a new Chanel bag or a fancy pair of shoes, BUT, there is nothing I’d rather spend my money on than life experiences. Taking a weekend getaway, or better yet, a trip to Europe! Going to shows, restaurants, or anything that you truly enjoy. Life is about making memories! When I look back at the last decade, the things that stick out to me the most are these experiences.

One of my good friends had to choose between taking a well-paying job, that also came along with a fancy title, or traveling the world for a year. He came to me in a real quandary, not sure what to do. My advice was “TAKE THE TRIP!” Another job will be there when you come back, but when you’re 65, it’s this trip that you’ll remember. He took the trip and now he’s a few months in, meeting amazing people and making some of the most incredible memories.

How about you?! I’d love to hear your words of wisdom!

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40 comments

  • Kristine

    I absolutely love this post! I couldn’t agree more! I just wrote a post about living in the moment.. it’s so important. Also, attracting the good in your life and getting rid of the negative or bad people is essential. Thanks for writing a great post!

    • All Mortal Kombat Character

      There isn’t one direction to happiness or success. To also be genuinely happy for others. It’s really hard not to compare yourself to someone else life, but if you live your life this way you are blocking your own blessing!

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  • Peppermint Dolly

    What a fabulous post, loved reading it!

    Rxx
    http://www.peppermintdolly.com

    • SHAREit APK

      There isn’t one direction to happiness or success. To also be genuinely happy for others. It’s really hard not to compare yourself to someone else life, but if you live your life this way you are blocking your own blessing!

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  • Gaby Merced

    Great post, and I celebrating my the year in my 20’s on Sunday. I’ve learn to follow the goal not the path.
    There isn’t one direction to happiness or success. To also be genuinely happy for others. It’s really hard not to compare yourself to someone else life, but if you live your life this way you are blocking your own blessing!

  • Trendique

    Enjoying the moment is definitely such an important point!!! <3

    xo Vanessa from http://www.Trendique-Magazine.com

  • faith

    What a great post! I completely agree with everything you said. I’ll be turning 34 next month and I’ve never been more sure of myself than I am now.

  • Jo

    I really enjoyed reading this post! Being in my 30’s too, I can so relate to everything you’ve said here. I totally agree that listening to your feelings will always lead you to the right decisions and the right path.

    Jo x
    http://www.cutandchic.com

  • ashley W.

    Great post and great advice! I just turned 30 this year and I’m already noticing myself slowing down a bit…saying ‘no’ to things I’m not really interested in and spending A LOT of time with myself. My bed is my favorite place to be. 😉

  • DEMELER

    Such an insightful post!
    xx
    http://thedemeler.com

  • sasa

    Thank you for sharing:P

    Shall We Sasa

  • Ev

    Nice post dear 🙂

    http://www.evdaily.blogspot.com

  • Lynn

    Great insights, Helena – you do such a great job on these personal posts. ❤ I think it’s hard to imagine when you’re younger that someday a lot of the things you’re fussing over will mean very little, but it’s so true. I think my greatest happiness has come from realizing that I should live the life I want to, even if it doesn’t look great on paper. I don’t need to prove success with the typical markers (job, money, etc), I just need to be. It’s truly freeing. 😊 Thanks for sharing!

    http://madhattersnyc.com

  • Nicole Sioui

    Helena, enjoy every minute and do it “your way”! One should never live their life in accordance to someone else’s standards or expectations. I started taking care of my skin and body at a very young age. I can honestly say that I reap the benefits today, as people think I’m much younger. The thought is, you can’t escape your age, so why not embrase it? Well, here it goes….. this spring I’ll be 60! An undeniable milestone for me because when I had cancer in my 30’s I never thought I would live to see my next birthday! Over the course of the last 6 years I retired from a job I no longer enjoyed and have been living life according to “Nicole” I am happier than I’ve ever been and gained a confidence that I believe “only comes with age”!

    • BrooklynBlonde

      Nicole,

      Wow, good for you! That’s so inspiring. And you look incredible!

      xoxo,
      Helena

  • agen jamsi

    bunga tulip buat apa tuh

  • Elizabeth T.

    Really enjoyed this insightful post! 🙂 It’s always a good reminder to yourself about all of the things that you should do for yourself! Thank you so much for sharing! <3

    XO, Elizabeth T.
    http://clothestoyouuu.com/

  • hebeos

    Write so well. Your advices are helpful for us to take. And I also think beautiful dresses are essential for us to look better.

  • Sherita Rankins

    Great advice, I know I have definitely started looking at my life differently in my 30s. One thing I need to do is start investing in my skin more! I have some great tips for getting your finances in order in your 30s on my site- https://www.busywifebusylife.com/finance/personal-finance/financial-steps-to-take-in-your-30s/

  • irene

    very inspiring post. Love the advise and I can really relate to some of these. I am 26 and it’s really hard for me to say no. I want to please everyone and I really end up going everywhere and instead of being happy I end up being tired !I strongly agree that you have to be good to other people. Loved this post.
    Thank you so much
    Irene
    http://www.thedailylace.com

  • Eve

    I wholeheartedly agree with your statements and sentiments!

  • Arielle charnas

    loved reading this post!!!!

  • Blush & Pearls

    All good points! I have to work on the “enjoy the moment” tip, since I feel I have no time to do anything nowadays. But I’ve made progress on the other points, especially investing in my skin.

  • Laura Mitbrodt

    I agree with the power of saying no to people. When I was younger I was always afraid of disappointing people but now I am willing to stand my ground.
    xo
    http://www.laurajaneatelier.com

  • JO

    Life is too short for boring clothes and shoes. Yes, buy that dress you have worked too much and desserve it. Learn you desserve the best, stop waiting for that special ocassion to wear that lovely dress. Time is now. And yes, 30´s are the new 20´s wiser, richer and healthier.

  • Monika

    Such a good post!
    Love,
    http://www.thestyleventure.com

  • LenA mrindi

    It’s always a pleasure to read your blog. .keep up the good work! !!much love from Dakar /Sénégal

  • Jackie

    Hi Helena! This is a great post, thank you so much for sharing!! I am curious to learn more about the flaxseed oil. Do you have any experience with taking the soft gels? Or is it best to ingest the oil straight from the bottle? Thanks!!

  • Miss Pippi

    Cool pieces of advice!

    http://misspippisstyle.blogspot.hu/

  • Lorna

    The one for me that always stands out is saying no to things that don’t feel right, or saying yes to only the things you want to do. I’m only 28 (I say only, but this is the best year of my life so far) and I used to constantly go to events, press days, do loads of travelling on a train to get to these things, only to be there and just hate it. I gave up going to events I didn’t want to go to and am much happier, only getting excited about the ones I do want to go to. I don’t have toxic relationships with anyone either. I eat healthily, take care of my skin. I’m very mindful of things around me and to enjoy them (although it is difficult sometimes) and I’m very happy with who I am. I can’t really elaborate on what you said, Helena, but just accepting who you are and being happy with yourself is the best thing for everyone.

    http://instagram.com/lornaraindrops

  • kristin

    As a woman who recently turned 31, I loved reading this! Cheers to you, Helena! xox

  • Jane

    Loving one’s self is a must so that you can love other’s as well. Nice post.

    Jane
    http://www.bestaceroofing.net

  • Anika Hunt

    Great post, it was very entertaining to read – I love your writing style!

    Anika | anikamay.co.uk

  • Josie Brownlee

    Love these points, and even though I’m just in my 20s I feel like they’re really good life lessons to practice whenever and I love reading posts like this, thank you!

    Josie

    JosieVictoriaa

  • gina

    I agree with all of these. And yes, my thirties are amazing so far, definitely the best time I’ve had.

  • GlamourZONE

    I love, love , love this post. Not yet in my 30s though. Gor some take home from it.

    http://www.glamourzone.org

  • Stapha Charleme

    This is such a great read, Helena! I completely agree with you about being able to say no—I’ve become abnormally good at it 🙂

  • Lisa

    Great post! I have to agree – since I turned 30 I’ve been more secure with who I am, care less what people think and just concentrate on enjoying life!

    http://www.wardrobeminimalist.co.uk

  • Qamar

    This blog is nice, words of the post are marvelous. I will apply your advice on itself. We should live a beautiful life and don’t others, we should spread the love. I accept your guidance
    Regard: Qamar
    http://www.stylocollections.com/
    Thanks.